Up Sh*t Creek Without a Paddle

My granddad always used to ask the rhetorical question, “what do they mean when they say “‘life is like a bowl of cherries’?”

At a young age I wasn’t sure, and didn’t search for the metaphorical meaning. But now, after having experienced many emotional hardships, and forming a greater understanding of life’s unexpected suprises – I get it…

Sometimes, life can taste sweet – but you may come across the odd cherry which is bitter, or bite down hard onto a stone.

 

download

Part 1

This blog post is short, and (hopefully) sweet, unlike the sour cherry which I am currently eating; and I’m not talking literally.

Everyone has off-days. Everyone has days which they’re feeling exhausted, stressed, worried, or fed up. Although for someone like myself, with anxiety and depression – it’s harder, because there doesn’t have to be a particular reason for you feeling that way. Chemically and psychologically there will be reasons, but not physically.

For example, this morning I woke up, groggy, and numb. I went to the bathroom (lush I know), and went downstairs for breakfast. I had had a shitty night’s sleep, but that’s pretty common (which doesn’t excuse the fact). I felt emotionally numb, fragile, tense, and miserable. I must have been wearing a look on my face resembling a slapped fish.

 

Then in the afternoon, I had an appointment with my care co-ordinator for the community mental health service. I was shitting bricks, and resented the thought of having to talk about how I felt, when I already felt like my emotions were bubbling over, subsequently giving me one bitch of a migraine.

The appointment itself was in a place I have visited countless times, and which I am very familiar with. My care co-ordinator is a lovely person, but I just shut down. Even hearing words like ‘trauma’ and ‘self-harm’ made me want to cry big time.

Nearing the end of our allocated time, my care co-ordinator asked if I wanted to leave it there and catch up later. Did I want to go home? Yes and no…because I want to get better, and I will I know that because you have to keep the faith in order for any treatment to help you – but hearing this made me feel like I had let myself down, and I hadn’t tried hard enough. It was at that moment, when expressing my fears to the care worker that she said something which has resided with me. Something that I frequently practice, and slightly hypocritically insight in those who seek my support and comfort.

“But you did it. You came anyway even though you didn’t want to and you tried your best, and that’s the most anyone can ask of you -including yourself.”

 

So, for all of those out there who feel inferior, or who think they’re not trying hard enough, or let themselves down…

You tried your best, and that’s the most anyone can ask of you – including yourself.

So know that even though life is really shitty, just a bit shitty, shit-smelling, or alright; when the tough times come, you’re gonna get through it – and come out at the other end; because no matter how long your sewer tunnel is, there’s always light at the end of it. ~ me

 

bloom blossom botanical close up
Photo by Jeswin Thomas on Pexels.com

 

Lots of love

  – Lori x

5 thoughts on “Up Sh*t Creek Without a Paddle

  1. I can cure you if you want to be cured.
    How.
    By telling you that I can’t cure you.
    Only, you can do that.
    You are here for your own.
    You are In charge of your mood.
    You have to get through the day, no matter what.
    What is depression? Is it a call for attention.

    Sorry. I went through depression. I got out, on my own.
    What I wrote above, its one of the key things. There is more though.

    But know this.
    Your family cares,that’s all. Not the people who say that they will be there but won’t actually be there.

    You can contol the way you want to feel.

    Like

    1. I agree with this in a sense. However, with significant trauma, psychological intervention is necessary to help close doors which need to be closed. But I agree that you can help do a lot to improve how you feel 💜 thank you for your comment

      Like

      1. What sort of trauma.
        If it was an accident then I must stop writing. Sorry.
        But if it wasn’t, read along.
        You think that you need psychological intervention. But you don’t.
        With anyone’s help, you are closing the doors to get stonger.
        Trust me, I know what I am doing.
        And I must tell you that psychology is my buff.

        It will be a hard ride. The hardest. If you have friends, it will be easier.
        Believe me. You have the cure. And with being dependent on the others to get better, Trust me, you will never close the doors. They won’t exist forever. And its not even that.

        Just, trust me. I can prove it to you. I will.
        I shouldn’t care what you do with your life. I sort of don’t.
        But depression is stupid. Movies and tv shows make it look good.
        Why are you even depressed? Why do you feel empty? Do you need to? No.

        Just trust me on this one. Depression is only hurting you. Not anyone else. Just you. Every one else is going about their lives.

        Stop with depression. You can. Anyone can.

        Like

  2. I have PTSD which caused an eating disorder, self-harm, and depression. This is all in my other blog posts if you care to go back and read them. We must agree to disagree on this topic, I’m an optimistic person, but I have mental health disorders. There’s a reason why psychological intervention, and therapy is there; because people need external, professional, and guided help. Some can ‘fix’ themselves yes, maybe if they’re depressed because they hate their job. But only in specific cases. Thankfully it worked for you, but tarring everyone with the same brush creates a stigma and pressure on those of us who feel like people view them as ‘not trying hard enough’.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.